Hello Ladies!
I'm sorry this has taken me most of the day to write. Due to a few unexpected circumstances (having to work and Alex being in town) I didn't get to read all day yesterday like I thought I was going to. That said, I have been scrambling to finish the first half today, but I realized about twenty minutes ago that I didn't want to rush this. I still have about thirty pages to go, but I have a quite a few thoughts I'm ready to share.
(And Katy, I didn't really read your e-mail too carefully because I didn't want to spoil the plot. So comment away!)
I don't really know what format I want to use for organizing my thoughts (if that is even possible), so just roll with me. And any pages I use in reference are from the version with the pictured cover.
1 - First Impressions So far I am loving this book. I was a little on the skeptical side when Katy and I picked it out, modern literature is sometimes a bit hard for me, but within the first few pages I was completely drawn to her writing style. Yes, it is a bit gruesome here and there (the worms are the thing that really killed me!), but I think she is writing it beautifully!
Even on Page 2, I was captivated by this line: "As he opened to the world again, everything around him was distressingly intense and all things were possessed in feeling, alive, as in a powerful dream... (at the end of the next paragraph) To come alive after dying to himself was dangerous."
I love the thought of dying to oneself only to reawaken to a whole new world. I have no real idea what this is like, but it feels passionate. And it does feel dangerous, but in the I'm-about-to-jump-out-of-this-plane-and-pray-that-my-chute-opens sort of way. And yet so much deeper. Does anyone have an example of this in their own life?
2 - Delphine I'm continuing on with that quote because although I know it was referring to Fidelis, I think it pertains to Delphine so much more. I feel like she was shut down when we first met her. Yes, she loves/d Cyprian, and is making a good life, but even before she knew he was gay, I don't think she was truly living. I think she sort of died a long time ago and has been revived by returning home. I think Eva opened her eyes to more than she could ever fathom there being in life. And I also think that she's going to find this to be so dangerous, because once you experience love, it's impossibly hard to give it up.
"With their eyes locked they rushed through the air, ecstatic, hearts lurching." (Page 137) How is she supposed to go back to a nothing existence after that?
But I must confess that I'm not really sure how I feel about Delphine. I think I love her, for her fierce loyalty to everything Eva, for protecting the children, for her loyalty to her father, and her stubborn, resolute, no-nonsense attitude. But she's driving me mad over Cyprian. Yes, they love each other, yes, they are wonderful friends, but wouldn't that be killing her? Or am I misinterpreting it? And I know I can't judge her or be really mad at her, for haven't most of us wanted for someone who wasn't right for us?
And I think I want her to take a step of self-confidence as a woman. I think she knows how to be friend, helper, mother (to her father, and maybe even the boys), but I'm not sure she knows how to be a woman. To stand alone and say "This is me: broken and ragged and hurting and soft and wanting to be loved." Maybe that was something that wasn't done in the Thirties, but even so...
3 - Eva Love her. Love her. Love her. I love her for loving Delphine, I love her for being that woman, I love her for following Fidelis and making her life far from her home. I love her for being fierce about her love, almost to the point where I wondered for a long time if she really did love Fidelis or not.
All that said, I think the story is really beginning now that she is gone. I hurt for Markus, and Fidelis, and Delphine, yes, but I think Eva was right when she said "...death is only part of things bigger than we can imagine... What next? You will see, and you will see your mother is of the design." (Page 119) She is an integral part of this story, no doubt, but there is something more coming that couldn't have happened if she were here.
Strange to think? Maybe, but I think it's true...
4 - Other thoughts Is anyone else confused as to why the first chapter make a fairly big deal out of Fidelis and then the ensuing chapters hardly even use him as a supporting character? Especially since he is the title. See... There's a lot more story to come!
I don't have much else to say right now. Well, I do, but I want to hear what your first impressions are. And your questions. So go to it! I'm going to fix dinner and then finish the rest of my thirty pages!!!
