Here are some other things I (Katy) have been thinking about part 1 and was interested in discussing:
A) Pg. 5 “For he was one of those born in the phenomenon of strength. He’d always had it, from the beginning and each year it increased”.
- In this case the author is discussing Fidelis’ physical strength. But does this statement hold true for emotional strength also (not just Fidelis’)? Are we born with emotional strength or do we develop it over a lifetime? Why are some ‘stronger’ than others?
- In what ways do other characters in the novel exhibit strength (for example, Eva, Delphine, Markus, Cyprian)?
B) Pg. 85 “Who are you, is a question with a long answer or a short answer”.
- What are some of the elements that make up identity?
- What are your answers?
- How is your identity influenced by those around you, the culture you live in, or your own ideas about who you are?
C) Pg. 107 “Since she’d known Eva Waldvogel, and also traveled here and there with Cyprian, she had started to understand how a woman’s attention could succeed in making sense of a man’s blind chaos and yet women needed their own wildness”.
I absolutely loved the image Erdrich paints here. I think many men become better organized, shaven and fed once a woman enters their life. Of course, relationships also work both ways and men influence, encourage and grow their partners in other ways too. I found myself wanting ask all of you:
- Is Erdrich’s statement true? Is it applicable in your own relationship (marriage)? Do you make sense of, control or ease your man’s chaos (sorry Gretch)?
- What is your wildness?
I would like to think it is true that Craig is neater in his dress, more organized in his tasks, and soothed by my encouragements. His house is cleaner, very tidy and his drawers no longer contain wadded up clothing (although piles of them still emerge on the floor here and there sometimes). His dreams are supported and together we are working to achieve his goals. Of course, when Craig laughs at my constant worrying, my obsessive-ness and my attempts at perfection, I am also a calmer, better person.
My wildness is an interesting question…I don’t even think I have ever thought about this…maybe my “itchy” feet. I love to always be poking my nose in something unknown, sometimes literally, and trying to figure out what it is and everything I can know about it. I adore going new places, sitting back and watching life occur. I thrive on constant learning and seeking. But, I know my husband wishes I would ‘calm down’ a bit and ‘settle’ more, be more interested in creating our home, rather than planning my next trip abroad. I also can go a bit 'wild' at the mall, if I don’t control myself.
D) Pg. 53: Who looked up “syzygy”? What does it mean?
I did and I could tell you but I am wondering if anyone else did? OCD…
E) Pg. 169 “It was a routine, she later thought, she didn’t treasure enough. An even life, without any jumps or starts. No stalls either. It was the kind of life you didn’t know at the time you were living it was a happy life”.
Again she is crafting beautiful sentences (but obnoxiously alluding to things rather than just getting on with it!)…I want to ask:
- Have you ever had this experience or feeling?
- What did you learn from it?
That's all. Love.
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Wow Katy! There is so much I want to write in response to all of this. But I fear I might not be able to stay awake for that long! I shall try for a little bit, though.
ReplyDeleteA) This is a question that could almost be argued along side "nature vs. nurture". I think that there is a good amount of emotional strength with which we are (perhaps) born.But I also think a lot of that strength is built in us as we grow and mature. Silly example from my life: My parents divorced when I was 2. I saw my dad twice a year for only a week or two at a time. When Henry and I were really young we would cry when we left our mom and cry when we left our dad. As we grew older we would just cry when we left our dad. And now, although goodbyes are still really hard for me, I've kind of numbed myself to them. I still hate saying goodbye to those I love... Kate in Germany, Katy a few months ago, Henry last January, my Dad in October... But emotionally I've grown past the point of weeping at goodbyes (for the most part). I don't mean to say that this is a good thing, but it's the first example that popped into my head.
I have a feeling Fidelis also just sort of had to shut down throughout the war, and in a way "grow" emotional strength. A thought just occurred to me...Can we truly grow emotionally without loss or tragedy? Like the idea that you can't really know the joy of life without knowing the tragedy of life.
That said, I think we can also be crippled emotionally. If we don't take the tragedies and move past them, we can get stuck. I think Delphine is a great example of this. It seems like she got stuck in the tragedy and lived there up until a little past when she met Eva. She had learned so deeply her tragedy that she couldn't escape it almost.
So, in a very LONG explanation, I think what I'm trying to say is that emotional strength comes from being able to decipher the highs and lows, live through them, and grow beyond them. Yeah, that's about right : )
B) Whoa. I don't think I should be allowed to answer this one. I'm already writing too long of a response! I'll try to keep it really short.
Lately something that has been bothering me is that the Gretchen that most people see is not the Gretchen you all know and the Gretchen I know. Bartending put this mask on me that I am having a hard time removing.
Who am I? If I were to answer "Someone who loves ribbons and paper, tea and smiles, tulips and Jesus. Someone who prefers the quiet solitude. Someone who yearns for adventure. Someone who won't settle." you all would understand that. You would understand that my soul is quiet and passionate all at the same time. But who am I to those I work with and those I briefly meet? I'm Gretchen! Bubbly! Outgoing! Willing to help! Smiley! Silly! Somewhat ridiculous! Confusing!
That's the mask I created for myself bartending, and while I am all those things in some part, my heart speaks a ferocious silence and depth and simplicity.
C) I have often imagined my marriage to be that of making sense of each other's chaos. Is that what a union is supposed to be about? Complimenting each other and compensating each other's weaknesses. I feel as if Eva and Fidelis, and even Delphine and Cyprian, to an extent, do this. We know both couples work well as a team. And we see that Eva is still fierce and Delphine is really coming into her own.
Lately, though, in all honesty, I have feared the thought of a relationship because of it's capacity to steal my wildness. I still long to be married, but you may have to remind me that if "he" isn't allowing me my Gretchen-ness, then he isn't right for me. None of you have lost yourselves to your marriage, right? Like we talked about in the first part, marriage is sort of like dying to oneself, only to come back even more alive. Right?
My "wildness" is all I know. Jesus has granted me so much freedom over the past few years. I'm apprehensive and eager to see what will come of it in a marriage...
D) Nope, didn't look it up. In fact I never look words up. I can't be bothered with taking time out of the story : )
E) Well, I think childhood is a great example of this. I can't believe how much I took for granted back then. College was also wonderful and carefree (despite all the dramas), and even now, though times are hard, I still think I live a great life. But even so, I don't want to repeat many parts of my life, just a few days here and there! I don't want to look back and regret or think of those days gone by with sadness.
F: ) There is so much I want to talk about in the second half! I can't wait to start that discussion!
G) Sorry this was sooooooooo long!
Yay for Meagan's first comment! So I'm mainly responding to Gretchen's comment, part C: I actually think that I'm more "me" now that I'm married than I was before. I feel like being married has freed me up to more fully be the person God created me to be. A good example of this is the (now-defunct) catering business - I would never have been brave enough or had enough courage to make the decision to start my own business, and have had enough belief in my own skills, unless I had been married to Pierce. He was so encouraging and I knew that even if it didn't work he would still love me - and love me as much as if it was a huge success. I feel like I can risk much more than I would have as a single person. I'm not saying that's true for you as well, but for me and being married that's how it's been.
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